Self-Help Tools

Self-awareness starts with knowing your natural talents. This is a tool I recommend to most of my clients

• Gallup CliftonStrengths® Assessment is an evidence-based tool that identifies your top strengths and how to apply them at work and in life. Understanding your strengths helps you lead, decide, and build from what’s already working.
• Gain deeper clarity on what makes you naturally effective. This assessment identifies your unique talent profile (how you think, feel, and perform at your best). Understanding your top strengths helps you make decisions, navigate transitions, and lead from authenticity.
• I often recommend this tool to clients who want a data-driven foundation for personal and professional growth. It’s a powerful first step toward aligning your work and life with who you truly are.
• I personally recommend the CliftonStrengths 34
   → Learn More at gallup.com/cliftonstrengths

The goal here is to zoom out and get a clean picture of:

1. what matters most to you,

2. where things are right now, and

3. where you want them to be.

Find a quiet moment, sit somewhere comfortable, and treat this as reflection time :) There are no right answers here. Let it be honest and light…its a fun exercise, so enjoy the process

Step 1: Set up the wheel

Draw a circle and split it into 8 slices (or 10 or 12 slices) or as many as you need to consider the categories that are important in your life. Label each slice with one category (sharing a few below but fell free to adjust if needed): 

Career / Work | Personal Projects | Health / Fitness | Partner / Love | Family / Friends | Money / Finances | Learning / Growth | Fun / Recreation | Spirituality | Community | Environment

Step 2: Rate importance (1–10)

Next to each category, write how important that category is for you. The most important category is the highest number, and that number keeps decreasing until you get to a 1. For example, is heath is the most important category (and you have a 10 slice wheel), then Health/Fitness would be #10. 

This is not “how good it is.” It’s “how much this matters to you in this moment”

Step 3: Mark current level (1–10)

For each slice, rate where you feel you currently are for each of those categories. 

1 = very dissatisfied | 10 = fully satisfied

Go with your first honest answer.

Step 4: Mark desired level (1–10)

For each slice, rate where you feel you would like to be for each of those categories.

1 = very dissatisfied | 10 = fully satisfied

This is where you would realistically like it to be in the next 3, 6 or max 12 months.

Step 5: Find the gaps

For each category, calculate: Gap = Desired – Current

Now look for:

• Largest gaps (where change is most needed)

• High importance + large gap (these usually deserve attention first)

• Low importance + large gap (sometimes these can wait, or be simplified)

Step 6: Quick reflection (write 5–10 lines)

Answer these:

1. What surprised you?

2. Which gap feels most urgent?

3. Which gap is most avoidable if you don’t address it?

4. What is one small action that would move that area by 1 point?

Seeing things as they are, not harder than they are.

We often mistake difficulty for complexity.

If something feels hard, we assume it must be complicated to solve, but many emotionally heavy moments are actually simple in structure, just uncomfortable in action.

Breaking up, quitting a job, or setting a boundary are difficult because they require courage, not because they are complex. Saying, “I don’t feel this relationship is right anymore,” or “I’ve decided to move on from this role,” is simple in process…but emotionally hard to do.

The mind often invents complexity to protect itself from discomfort. Recognize when you’re doing that. Clarity begins when you stop confusing courage with complication.

How to Use It:

• Write down one situation that feels “complex.”
• Ask: Is this truly complex, or just difficult?
• If it’s difficult, name the single clear action that would move it forward
• Notice what stories your mind adds to avoid that step

Make risk visible before it grows in your head - The mind tends to exaggerate risk, blending fear and uncertainty into one big obstacle. 

To break through the noise, separate it into four parts:

1. Physical Risk: Will this affect my health or safety?
2. Cognitive Risk: Will this drain me or help me grow?
3. Emotional Risk: Will this shake my confidence or identity?
4. Financial Risk: Will this impact my ability to support myself or my family?

Rate each from 1–3, then total your score:

• 4–5: No Risk
• 6–7: Low Risk
• 8–9: Medium Risk
• 10–12: High Risk

How to Use It:

Take a decision you’re considering (ie. like “Should I leave my current role?”) and score it. Seeing numbers instead of fears helps you respond rationally, try to not react emotionally.

When to persevere…and when to pivot.

Not every hard moment means it’s time to quit, and not every plateau means you should stay. The key is knowing whether effort is creating movement.

Ask:

• Is the gap between where I am and where I want to be shrinking over time?
   If yes, keep going
   If not, it may be time to adjust course

Then consider:

• What is the opportunity cost of staying where I am?
• What growth or peace might I gain by changing direction?

How to Use It:

• Reflect every 3–6 months
• Chart your progress against your goal, not against comfort
• If progress flatlines, the lesson might be complete

Know what can be finished—and what must be maintained.

Not every goal has an endpoint. Some things are diploma problems…they finish once solved. Others are toothbrush problems, they need ongoing care.

• Diploma Problems: finite tasks with a clear end (earning a degree, learning to ride a bike, completing a project)
• Toothbrush Problems: continuous practices that sustain your well-being (staying fit, maintaining a relationship, practicing gratitude)

In academia, there’s also a “Toothbrush Problem”: researchers constantly create new theories (their own “toothbrushes”) instead of improving shared ones. The same happens in life…we chase novelty instead of consistency

How to Use It:

• List your current challenges. Label each as Diploma or Toothbrush.
• Commit to finishing the diploma tasks.
• Design gentle systems (habits, reminders, community) to maintain your toothbrush tasks.

Clarity often comes from knowing which problems to solve and which ones to tend.

The below questions are designed to spark reflection and uncover insights you might not see in the rush of daily life. I see us all being able to answer these questions honestly to ourselves with no hesitation. I there is any internal pushback as you go though these, I invite you to stay with them and deeply think about what you might be trying to avoid and what they are telling you. Smile, take your time and enjoy going though them :)

I. Core Strengths & Skills 

Purpose: Identify the abilities, talents, and learned skills that define your best work.

• What personal qualities do others consistently admire in me? 
• What are I good at, and what are my passions and or things that truly spark my enthusiasm?
• How would I describe myself to others?
• What are my top three strengths?
• What are the three things that truly get me excited or that I am passionate about?
• What skills do I have that could work in different fields?

II. Personal Values & Needs

Purpose: Clarify what principles, conditions, and environments help you thrive.

• What does a well-balanced and meaningful life look like for me?
• What kind of environment helps me thrive?
• What do I need more of in my life right now?
• What are three things I would like to do before I die (e.g., places to visit, languages to learn, experiences to have)?
• How would an ideal week look for me? List Monday–Sunday with the activities I would want to live in a perfect week
• What would I pursue if others’ opinions didn’t matter?

III. Creative Aspirations & Interests

Purpose: Uncover passions, curiosities, and ideas that bring you energy.

• What personal projects or dreams have I kept in the background for too long?
• What hobbies or interests make me feel alive and connected?
• If I had one free day a week just for myself, how would I spend it?
• What alternative paths have I been curious about?
• What would I do if I wasn’t worried about failure?
• What would I do if money and social obligations didn’t matter?
• How would I spend my time if I had $100M in the bank and no financial worries? Project yourself beyond the trips your will take or the good restaurants you will visit…think more long term, as in how would I spend 40,50,60 hours of my week doing?

IV. Currently Realities & Possibilities 

Purpose: Clarify what principles, conditions, and environments help you thrive.

• What parts of my life feel stuck or stagnant?
• What feels most urgent or important to change?
• What needs to be true for me to make that change?
• If I keep living exactly as I am now, how will life feel one year from today?
• What would my life look like if I stayed on my current path?
• Where do I live, and how are my relationships?
• What if I took an entirely different direction?
• What amazing thing or project would I do if I had no fear?
• What is the biggest thing that is keeping me from having the life I truly want for myself?

1. “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — Carl Jung
2. “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
3. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” — Socrates
4. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor E. Frankl
6. “It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” — Sir Edmund Hillary
7. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” — Viktor E. Frankl
8. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2
9. “The obstacle is the way.” – Marcus Aurelius
10. “Clarity comes in motion.” – Simon De Los Rios