Self-Help Tools

Self-awareness starts with knowing your natural talents.

• Gallup CliftonStrengths® Assessment is an evidence-based tool that identifies your top strengths and how to apply them at work and in life. Understanding your strengths helps you lead, decide, and build from what’s already working.
• Gain deeper clarity on what makes you naturally effective. This assessment identifies your unique talent profile (how you think, feel, and perform at your best). Understanding your top strengths helps you make decisions, navigate transitions, and lead from authenticity.
• I often recommend this tool to clients who want a data-driven foundation for personal and professional growth. It’s a powerful first step toward aligning your work and life with who you truly are.
• I personally recommend the CliftonStrengths 34
  
   → Learn More at gallup.com/cliftonstrengths

1. “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — Carl Jung
2. “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
3. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” — Socrates
4. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor E. Frankl
6. “It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” — Sir Edmund Hillary
7. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” — Viktor E. Frankl
8. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2
9. “The obstacle is the way.” – Marcus Aurelius
10. “Clarity comes in motion.” – Simon De Los Rios

Seeing things as they are, not harder than they are.

We often mistake difficulty for complexity.

If something feels hard, we assume it must be complicated to solve, but many emotionally heavy moments are actually simple in structure, just uncomfortable in action.

Breaking up, quitting a job, or setting a boundary are difficult because they require courage, not because they are complex. Saying, “I don’t feel this relationship is right anymore,” or “I’ve decided to move on from this role,” is simple in process…but emotionally hard to do.

The mind often invents complexity to protect itself from discomfort. Recognize when you’re doing that. Clarity begins when you stop confusing courage with complication.

How to Use It:

• Write down one situation that feels “complex.”
• Ask: Is this truly complex, or just difficult?
• If it’s difficult, name the single clear action that would move it forward.
• Notice what stories your mind adds to avoid that step.

Clarity often hides behind courage.

Make risk visible before it grows in your head - The mind tends to exaggerate risk, blending fear and uncertainty into one big obstacle. 

To break through the noise, separate it into four parts:

1. Physical Risk: Will this affect my health or safety?
2. Cognitive Risk: Will this drain me or help me grow?
3. Emotional Risk: Will this shake my confidence or identity?
4. Financial Risk: Will this impact my ability to support myself or my family?

Rate each from 1–3, then total your score:

• 4–5: No Risk
• 6–7: Low Risk
• 8–9: Medium Risk
• 10–12: High Risk

How to Use It:

Take a decision you’re considering—like “Should I leave my current role?”—and score it. Seeing numbers instead of fears helps you respond rationally, not react emotionally.

When to persevere…and when to pivot.

Not every hard moment means it’s time to quit, and not every plateau means you should stay. The key is knowing whether effort is creating movement.

Ask:

• Is the gap between where I am and where I want to be shrinking over time?
   If yes, keep going.
   If not, it may be time to adjust course.

Then consider:

• What is the opportunity cost of staying where I am?
• What growth or peace might I gain by changing direction?

How to Use It:

• Reflect every 3–6 months.
• Chart your progress against your goal, not against comfort.
• If progress flatlines, the lesson might be complete.

Know what can be finished—and what must be maintained.

Not every goal has an endpoint. Some things are diploma problems—they finish once solved. Others are toothbrush problems—they need ongoing care.

• Diploma Problems: finite tasks with a clear end (earning a degree, learning to ride a bike, completing a project).
• Toothbrush Problems: continuous practices that sustain your well-being (staying fit, maintaining a relationship, practicing gratitude).

In academia, there’s also a “Toothbrush Problem”: researchers constantly create new theories (their own “toothbrushes”) instead of improving shared ones. The same happens in life—we chase novelty instead of consistency.

How to Use It:

• List your current challenges. Label each as Diploma or Toothbrush.
• Commit to finishing the diploma tasks.
• Design gentle systems (habits, reminders, community) to maintain your toothbrush tasks.

Clarity often comes from knowing which problems to solve and which ones to tend.

• Eisenhower Matrix: separate urgent from important; act with intention.
• IKIGAI Diagram: find where passion, mission, vocation, and profession meet.  
• Wheel of Life: visualize balance across areas like career, health, relationships, and growth.

Movement clears the mind. Choose one ride, yoga or walk each week with no phone, no music, only awareness. Notice how physical rhythm creates mental space.

Short Practices

• The 10-Minute Clarity Pause: turn off all devices, breathe deeply, write the one question on your mind. Sit with it in silence.
• The Gratitude Check: name three people or things that added value to your day.
• Energy Audit: list what gives and drains energy this week. Adjust one thing.